Gone Again
Please don't think I've gone over the edge,although friends who know all that I've been going through may not be surprised if I finally have fallen off the edge. But I haven't,at least I "THINK" I haven't.
So here's the story. I'm not sure when it was that this started happening,but I know I was talking on the phone to my friend,Lori Rippey when it happened the 1st time that this finch appeared. When he came back a little while later,I was able to walk right up to the window,kinda face to face and say Hi to him and some other stuff before he flew off. He's been coming back every day several times a day. He perches on the little ledge of the window,looks right at me and keeps tapping on the window. I'm in that room during the day,everyday working. As you can see this room is in the front of the house with a big window that I can look out and it's brighter than the living room which is in the center of the house with no view from the 1 window in there,so it's darker and I need my Ott light on to work in there. So I move back to the living room to work in the evening. But during the day I'm in that front room which was a bedroom that I made into my sitting/workroom. We moved here May 2,2011 and John went to the hospital Memorial Day week-end on Saturday,so for the short time he was here that was his room. I've never seen a finch behave this way,to sit there so long,tapping on the window,when I can go right up to it and talk to him and ask him to help me before he flies away,only to come back again several times while I'm in that room.
So here comes the maybe crazy part or maybe the wishfull thinking part,could it be John.
What do you think,am I finally losing it?????
Sherry.....OUT
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i was just surfing blogs and yours came up....i lost my husband a year ago this month also......and no i don't think you are crazy to think John is letting you know he is watching over you
ReplyDeleteevery time i find a great parking spot or i back into my narrow driveway i know my Nick is helping me.. he could back up a 3000 gallon tank truck and backing up my van is such chore i know he is helping still
blessings
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this and I am so so sorry for your loss. I actually didn't lose John in May,we had a longer way to go,he was in ICU.I fought to bring him home with Hospice,but the Dr. refused to sign the paper. Finally I won and Hospice brought him home at 3 p.m. Friday July 8th. In the early hours of July 9th I found him gone. I hope that you are well & healthy,because I am not and with all my heart I hope that you are not alone because except for phone calls from caring friends,I am alone with my sweet 12 year old 2 lb. yorkie and this is not a way to live.
All my best & prayers to you.
Sherry
I have no doubt that our loved ones have a way of letting us know they are still there, even if we cannot see them. This little bird seems to be quite taken with you, what a sweet way to connect.
ReplyDeleteOh Sherry, I have tears streaming down my face as I read your last comment. I honestly dont think its actually your husband, but could it be God showing you that He and John are BOTH looking out for you and can see you even though you cant see them ? I am praying for you right now...Dear God in Heaven, I dont know the pain that Sherry is in right now since I have not lost my dear husband but I can imagine and I do live in pain and isolation everyday so I think I have a glimpse of her life. Lord please dont let her be lonely. Fill up her life with new and exciting things as she tries to navigate on her own through waters she never planned on traveling. Let her see You everywhere around her, holding her up when she lays down to cry, comforting her aching heart as she whispers that she cant go on. Lord remind her that life is worth living and although I dont know John, I know he loved her and she loves him still and he would take away the pain if he could, but show her that You can take the pain away Lord. Send friends to Sherry's side...Move on their hreats to call at the perfect time where she will KNOW that it had to be a miracle. Most of all Lord give her peace, strength, rest,and remind her that the sun will shine again even if she cant even imagine that it will. Fill her with contentment Lord and bring a new friend into her life...a real live person to do things with so that she's not so lonely. Lord I know phone calls help, but sometimes we need more when our world falls apart and the ache inside is just too much to carry alone. Send her someone to help Lord, please, like you did for me when the storms in my life threatened to overtake me and swallow me whole and send me into a place so dark and lonely that I knew if I ever went there I would not come back. Lord help her to feel the love that so many of us who have gotten to know her have for her and forgive me for not checking in more often after I found out what she was going through. Lord, if this finch is a sign from you, then show her and fill her with your peace about the matter but dont let the notion hurt her. I am fearful that if the bird leaves and doesnt come back she might be hurt all over again...Keep her safe within the wings of the angels you send to comfort her. In the name of your son who you sent for us, Amen. Sherry I just want you to know I do not normally pray in a blog comment area but I just felt so strongly that you needed to really know that when people say they are praying that they really are and I will continue to pray for you. I am here if you ever want to talk. Email me and I will give you my cell number and you can call anytime...I rarely sleep so even in the middle of the night is ok. I know and understand lonliness and you are right, its no life for anyone !
ReplyDeleteGrace to you,
Margie
OH what a Sweet Post.. I know after My mom died I put out lots of feeders in my windows.. I get all kinds of little birds .. they have brought such peach and joy to me.. Enjoy your little finch.. He Sure Enjoys Watching Over You.. (Btw) They do have little feeders with cups you can put with seed right on your windows.. your little finch will come back every year once they find it.. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry,for many years I was a bereavement counselor and I heard amazing stories like this. People asked me "am I crazy?" and my response was: "we don't really know if there are UFOs or not, or life on other planets, but it could be possible, yes?" So why couldn't other signs/signals be possible? What I believe is important is what this says to you: if it brings you joy, relief, belief, solace, that's what is important and let it help your heart with further healing. It is a gift for now; enjoy! Many hugs, Kathy, aka The Grinning Sheep
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are crazy. that little bird brings you comfort and that is what your dear husband did. I say why not.
ReplyDeleteCathy
Thank You Michelle,Kathy & Cathy. Margie you certainly do have a way with putting words together for a beautiful prayer,Thank You. I could hardly read the words of your posts because of the tears,AGAIN. I swear I don't know how a person could cry so much and still have to pee so often,dang neurogenic bladder!!!
ReplyDeleteThe finch never came yesterday,guess maybe it was just another fantasy of a sign that I'm always looking for.
Feed the guy!! Thistle seed.
ReplyDeleteThat tiny creature makes you more relax and makes you feel happy.
ReplyDeleteOh Sherry I hope someday soon you will be peeing from laughter and not crying. I am making it a point to keep you front and center in my prayers my dear sweet girl ! You hang in there...eventually those tears will start to be under more control. Hugs !
ReplyDeleteoh, yes...i definitely believe that this little bird was sent to visit you...
ReplyDeletejust got a finch feeder and love to watch these beauties :)
I cannot think of a more sweet, delicate way for the heavens to check on you. Birds are so delicate. I love that story and know it is from above to let you know John is around, close by, watching over you.
ReplyDelete