I'm finding it hard to type cause I'm a 1 finger typer and the MS has kicked up causing my hands to tremor,but I'll manage. I felt the need to update because of the very kind comments here and emails about my last post.
I got up today at 6:15 and thought,why are you getting up so early,but less than 10 minutes later the hospital called. John took a turn for the worse and they told me that he had to be put on a ventilator.
Yesterday morning the hospital called our son Mike and told him that he needed to bring me up to the hospital. So he told me that Mary Jo and him were coming to get me at noon. My friend Marlene had also come to do some work here,unpacking and organizing.
When I got to his room the oxygen mask that they had on him looked like something from Star Wars. His nurse was with him and when Mary Jo wheeled me in,she said there's what you wanted!!!
I felt so good that I was able to tell him that I got the other house emptied (well mostly Ron did). I said,we're DONE with that place!!! He manged to say,really? and he started to cry. I knew it would make him happy and releived.
3 of our grandsons and their Dad and Mike's wife came in too.But all the beepers kept going off,so the nurse came and said that there were too many people and he was getting too excited. When John and I were alone he told me that if he had to be put on a ventilator he wanted to do it because he wants to live and come home,but that if he had to come back to the contraption that he had on,he wanted to die.
When I called the hospital last nite,his nurse told me that he was doing good and that there was some improvement.I guess through the nite he took a turn and the Dr. said he had to be put on the ventilator. Our Dr. had called me the other day to check on me and see if I felt like he did about trying to bring him back by putting him on the ventilor and giving his lungs a chance to rest and then after a few days the family would have to make a decision.
I'm going to be 64 and I've been with John since I was 16. Yesterday may have been my last time to talk to him. I feel so lost. It's all in God's hands now
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