Sunday, July 10, 2011
my Dear Husband.
I FINALLY won my battle to bring John home. All the equipment was delivered 1st and then the ambulance arrived with John straight from the ICU and the respitory therapist,to teach me how to use all the machines,about 3:00 Friday afternoon.Mike ran to Sears to buy a little door bell that he installed on the wall by John's bed,so that if he needed me and I wasn't in there he could just press the button and the bell would ring in the living room. Ron was there along with Mary Jo & Mike & the nurse who was trying to get 2 pages of meds taken care of.Ron told the kids that he was worried about me doing this alone since they saw me almost falling several times as I was learning everything I had to do and going back & forth to John's room.
I just told them,I'll be OK I just need to slow down and get into my wheelchair 1st instead of just using my cane.
I felt very sad that evening when everyone was gone. John really wasn't talking and had even turned the TV off. I was waiting for Hospice to deliver the narcotics that I needed for him.He really needed the Aderol that would keep him calm and not try so hard to breathe. I put it in a dish of applesauce and fed it to him.Then I put The B-Pap on him and told him that it was nite nite for him. I checked him before I went to bed after 11:30. I got up at 2 a.m. to check him. Something was wrong.His arms where in the same position as the last time I had checked.The machines were still going.He was so swollen I was having a hard time finding a pulse in his wrists or neck,at least that's what I wanted to believe.I kept putting the pulsacs on his finger,but it wouldn't give me a number.I kept trying to rub his chest and call his name.I laid my head on his chest and nothing.I called Hospice and the nurse came to verify what I already knew,but didn't want to believe,he was gone. She called the funeral home and prepared his body for them.It was 5:30 a.m. when they all left.I went to bed till 7:30 a.m.
This morning we had to go to the funeral home to make the arrangements I had written John's obituary.Actually I wrote it in my head and when Mary Jo came to pick me up I asked her to write it on paper as I told it to her.The picture that I'm showing here is the one I chose to be published in the newspaper with the obituary. It's totally him.His face shows the intensity of the 110% he always gave to the job he loved and gave his life for.
His funeral will be VERY tough and emotional,but I'm giving him the send off that he deserves. Visitation will be Tuesday from 4-7.There will be an Honor Guard of 2 Firemen at attention in full dress uniform the whole time.One at the head of the casket and one at the foot and they will ceremoniously change guards at certain times. There will also be an American flag,to honor John's military service in the Air Force and also the Fire Dept. flag.
The funeral mass will be at 11 a.m. Wed. The procession to St. Mary's Church will be the hearse and behind it the fire dept.'s rescue truck that he had a large part in designing. The pall bearers will be 6 Fireman in full dress.
The luncheon will be here where I live at Bud's building where they have a room and an outdoor patio and lawn area with umbrella covered tables set up.Cafe 83,which Bud also owns will cater. Heather,one of Bud's assistants,who's also fast become a very dear friend to me asked me yesterday if she could do this.She'll be coming over tomorrow to discuss the plans.Ever since we moved here the people have been so wonderful to me,even John only got to live here a little over 2 weeks,he loved it here too and I will be inviting all the neighbors. I hope with all my heart that I will be able to stay here.
Last but certainly not least,THANK YOU to all of you for your VERY touching posts,emails and prayers.
To a TRUE HERO, Lt.John S.Kristoff
Posted by From Sherry's Heart at 12:18 PM